Riverside Calm Before the Bus Ride of Death

Feb 20th-24th

As soon as we arrived back in Huay Xai, we were already booked on a 10-hour night-bus back to Luang Prabang.

No sooner had it arrived in Luang Prabang, we were already on a 7-hour connecting bus to Vang Vieng, the final stop on this arduous leg of our Laotian journey.

Vang Vieng is a small town nestled along the slow-moving Nam Song river, with beautiful karst mountains forming its backdrop.

As picturesque and relaxing as this sounds, it was at one time the hedonistic capital and biggest party destination in all of South East Asia. Yes, bigger than Koh Pha-Ngan, Koh Phi-Phi and Sihanoukville.

Being in South East Asia for a few months now, I would often see singlets and t-shirts saying 'Vang Vieng: In the Tubing', the grammatically bizarre slogan of this party place.

This tubing is where the party takes place: everyone rents a tube and floats down the Nam Song, sharing mixed drinks everyone brings along with them.

Along the river are makeshift bars, selling or even giving away buckets of incredibly strong booze and selling drugs anywhere from weed to crystal meth.

So when everyone is fucked out of their minds, this is when they have rope-swings and zip-lines over the river, which during the dry season is actually quite shallow in many places and incredibly fast-moving during the wet season.

All these elements created the most epic party imaginable except for the fact that in 2011-2012, over 20 people, mostly Australians, reportedly died there, and the Australian government told the Laotian government to shut it down.

The Laotian government did in fact shut it down and actually torched many of the riverside stalls to the ground, putting an end to the party and the party-related deaths that came with it.

When we arrived, Vang Vieng was a shadow of its hedonistic self: they had only recently allowed tubing to resume and had only given permission to two bars to operate along the river, along with an incredibly strict no-drug policy, as well as a no-jumping-or-swinging-into-the-river policy.

Fair Enough.

Josh and I went there knowing about the shut down, but decided to check it out anyways and enjoy the beautiful scenery and relaxing atmosphere.

Despite the crackdown, we still managed to find a few popping bars and were still quite hungover following our first night out.

What better way to cure a pounding hangover than to go rock climbing!

I had enjoyed it so much in Railey and Josh had never tried it before, so we decided to take advantage of the limestone karst surrounding us.

Our guide, from Adam's Rock Climbing School (www.Laos-climbing.com), brought us to a beautiful portion of the Nam Song where we could prove our strength and flexibility while simultaneously sweating out our hangovers.

After our morning of rock-climbing, I thought what better way to relax my soon-to-be-sore muscles, than floating down the river on a tube for a few hours.

Also, I wanted to buy a Vang Vieng singlet and thought I would be a hypocrite if I bought one and didn't actually tube. Josh didn't feel this turmoil and decided to sit this one out.

I brought only enough money to cover my tube rental and the deposit, along with Josh's underwater camera (The pictures and movies on it are still in Josh's possession so they are not being posted).

However, as soon as I hopped on the complimentary tuk tuk, I was instantly handed a water-bottle full of Lao whisky and coke.

Victoria and Sonia from the UK, Bram from Holland and Rigmor from Germany instantly welcomed me into their floating crew.

Since it was dry season and the water levels were quite low, we floated along the Nam Song at a fantastically leisurely pace.

Our initial group of 5 had swelled to at least 50-60 by mid-river and although I had never experienced it in its heyday, this was the tubing I was hoping for: relaxation, camaraderie and beautiful scenery; not to mention a little booze, some house music and some amazing times.

I partied with my adoptive crew for the rest of the evening and joined them at Moon Bar, the busiest late-night spot in Vang Vieng at the time.

The following day, Josh and I headed back to Vientiane to pick up our passports which we left at Funky Monkey hostel in order to get Vietnamese visas.

My good friend and travel buddy from Vancouver, Mike, was arriving to Hanoi, Vietnam on the 24th of February and Josh and I wanted to make sure we'd be there the same day to meet up with him.

Before our night-bus, we had the day to kill in Vientiane, so I decided to check out its sites.

My first stop was Patuxai, which should be called Laos' Arch de Triomphe. While it resembles Paris' monument in size and location, the fact that it remains unfinished since it was built in 1969 and its view looks out on a city completely devoid of any skyscrapers or even an impressive building, the comparisons end there.

From there I walked to Pha That Luang, or the Great Stupa. This monument is the most venerated and important in all of Laos. It is gilded in gold leaf and is quite beautiful to look at.

Unfortunately I arrived during the museum's lunch break so I wasn't able to enter the structure.

Lonely Planet doesn't recommend that travelers take the bus from Vientiane to Hanoi due to duration, hassle and negative experiences of their readers. We decided to neglect these warnings and would do it anyways! How bad could it be?

This bad.

We were picked up at 5pm from our hostel and driven to the bus station. After numerous futile efforts, a kind bus attendant finally told us the shitty-buses that touts were trying to get us on were not in fact the bus we had reserved.

When our foreigner-loaded bus did finally pull up, we put our things on it, only to have it drive away and not return for another hour.

When it did return, with our things thankfully still on it, we only left the bus station at 7:15pm.

The bus only arrived at the Vietnamese border at 2:30am and waited another 4 hours before it actually opened at 6:30am.

Trying to get our passports stamped among scores of Laotians and Vietnamese yelling and pushing their way through was not my idea of pleasant at this time of morning.

Once we all got stamped, we had to walk for 30 minutes through a very run-down and dreary no-mans-land.

It was already 8:30am by the time we all had our passports processed and our bags searched; and our driver was impatiently yelling at us to hurry up.

For the next 2 hours he drove like an absolute maniac, swerving and racing as if his life depended on it.

At one point, he swerved and seemed to have hit something. We all assumed it had been an animal.

Looking out the back window of the bus, we could see a person lying in a lifeless heap on the ground, their face covered in blood.

Some people on the bus ran out to see if the person was alive and if there was anything they could do to help.

By this point, local villagers had come to investigate and watched the drama unfold with dopey, unfazed grins on their faces.

Eventually they flagged down one of the few non-motorbike vehicles who would drive the victim to the nearest hospital, wherever that might be.

It was after this point that the police arrived to take pictures of the crime scene a la CSI and question the incredibly shaken-up driver.

After all of this, the police told the driver to continue to drive us to the nearest town! Unbelievable considering how on edge he must have been at this point.

Four hours after hitting that poor man, whose fate remains unknown, we finally reached the next big town to change buses and thankfully change drivers.

Our new bus was only on the road for an-hour-and-a-half before it pulled into a garage and proceeded to get a tire-change, and not just one tire, but fucking all of them!!!

It was almost 6pm by the time we were back on the road towards Hanoi.

Miraculously, the bus didn't stop anymore and we finally arrived at Hanoi's south bus station by 8:30pm, almost 28 hours after our initial pickup from Vientiane!

Despite the long and tedious drive and incredibly erratic driving by our 2 bus drivers, at least everyone on board arrived safe and sound. I just hope and pray that the poor man who was struck by our maniacal bus will one day be able to say the same.

The Zippin' Experience

Feb 16th-19th

While we were still in Don Det, Josh and I had tried to reach the Gibbon Experience's office several times. Thankfully, Josh was eventually able to reach them and secure a reservation. However, due to the distance and timing of our reserved date, we had no choice but to be in perpetual motion and on a ridiculous amount of buses in order to reach it.

In Huay Xai, we found a place to spend the night and waited around until the park's office opened. When it did, we registered, paid and were briefed about the schedule for the following days.

In the afternoon, after several phenomenal mango smoothies, I made my way to a hilltop wat and then attempted to visit an old French hill station, which was unfortunately closed when I reached its gates.

For the Gibbon Experience, Josh and I opted for the classic package: this option entails less trekking than the other option, but with more zip-lines and time to enjoy the raw beauty of the jungle from above its sprawling canopy.

Before starting our trek, we were joined by around twenty other travelers. We all then hopped in the back of various trucks and were driven towards the forest in Bokeo Nature Reserve.

After several hours of paved roads, we turned off onto a bumpy dirt path carved into the jungle.

This road eventually brought us to a small village where the previous group of trekkers were waiting to be brought back to Huay Xai.

Once out of the trucks, a few guides greeted us and led us into the jungle.

The hike started off fairly easy, but soon became steep and more challenging.

We were all sweaty messes by the time we got to the 'base camp', but the physical activity was a great change of pace to the day's worth of bus travel we had done in order to get there.

It was here where we were given our harnesses for the zip-lining and split into groups for the various tree-houses.

Josh and I were joined by Teresa from Germany and Kara from Australia. The four of us would be sharing treehouse 4.

Once we had been assigned to a group, we were then led to our tree-houses by our respective guides.

Within minutes of splitting up, we already approached our first zip-line of the day. We were given instructions on how to attach the carbines and most importantly how to brake.

The initial anxiety subsided rather quickly once you felt the wind in your hair and the exhilaration of flying above a pristine jungle. It was quite remarkable to see just how fast we traveled and how high we were above the trees.

More trekking and several more zip-lines revealed just how deep into the jungle we actually were. It was refreshing to hear nothing but the sounds of nature and to really feel removed from it all.

So sweet.

Remarkably, our treehouse was only accessible via zip-line and provided a spectacular view onto the sprawling jungle canopy surrounding us.

It was Eco-friendly and surprisingly (and thankfully) sturdy considering it was 40-50 meters in the air.

After dropping off our things, we continued to zip-line over some nearby lines until the sun began to set and Josh almost broke his legs by underestimating just how fast he was going and started to brake too late.

The zip-line this happened on was half-a-kilometer long and we traversed it in around 30 seconds. Yep, that's fast!

After a great dinner and some laughs with our new friends, we called it an early night.

The Gibbon Experience (www.gibbonexperience.org), while focusing on zip-lining and trekking in practice, is actually an incredible conservation project for the project's namesake, the Black-Crested Gibbon.

Once poached for its fur, meat or just for fun; this animal was once at the brink of extinction in this area of Laos.

Thanks to the incredible ingenuity and hard work of the Cue Amino tour group, the hunters were encouraged to become guides and now earn a greater living from these animals alive, than they ever did dead.

The project has been in operation for almost 10 years and continues to grow in terms of interest and scope. Who knew that having so much fun could be so beneficial to the forest and its magnificent creatures!

Following our early night, we woke up to the jungle covered in a thick mist.

Although the visibility was low, the auditory stimulation was through the roof.

The black-crested gibbon makes a sound so distinct and bizarre that you'd have to hear it to believe it.

It starts off as a high-pitched sound that increases in pitch, speed and intensity as it progresses to the otherworldly siren-like sound that forms its throaty crescendo.

Although these animals scream like banshees, it is far more difficult to see them than to hear them. In fact, some groups leave the 3-day adventure without having seen them at all!

For the rest of the day, we trekked, zip-lined and visited the other groups' tree-houses. It seemed as though each zip-line got higher, faster and even more visually impressive as the day progressed.

The wow factor seemed to culminate on the way to tree-house 5, with its relative isolation, stature and dominant location.

Later, our guide decided to lead us through an unmarked trail to get to tree-house 1.

As we were climbing over downed trees and through thickets of untamed wilderness; there it was, high up in the trees, swinging with a grace and confidence like no other: the black-crested gibbon!

Although we could only see this rare animal for a few seconds, its impression on us (at least me), would surely last a lifetime.

Surprisingly enough, when we met up with the other groups, they too had seen gibbons on their respective trips!

A good time was had by all!

Despite the high price and long-distance traveled for this 3-day, 2-night trip; the amazing Bokeo Nature Reserve, the exhilarating rush of adrenaline at every turn, and the magnificent black-crested gibbon and its extraterrestrial cry, make this experience truly worth every agonizing hour spent on innumerable buses and worth every penny!

Endless Bus Rides and a Few Temples

Feb 14th-15th

Matt had been so kind as to book Josh and I a room in Luang Prabang for the night because they were arriving 12 hours before us. What he failed to do, however, was tell me the correct name of the place.

After spending 10 hours on a bus, we only arrived after dark and spent over an hour searching for a guesthouse that didn't exist; until another backpacker finally understood what we were talking about and brought us to the right place.

There, we met up with Matt and Till who were enjoying a drink with fellow travelers and proceeded to have a night out on the town.

We started at the handicraft night-market to grab a bite and book our onward ticket to Huay Xai, our northernmost destination in Laos.

Then we went to Utopia Bar, easily the busiest and most popular of all Luang Prabang's backpacker-friendly bars. We enjoyed some drinks there before the bar closed at midnight.

What most people do after Utopia, is go to the local bowling alley and continue to drink there because there is some bizarre loophole in the communist constitution of Laos that exempts bowling alleys from the same rules and curfews as other bars.

Go figure.

We, on the other hand, opted to buy some beers and enjoy a nightcap on our guesthouse patio.

Luang Prabang is renown throughout Laos and the rest of the world as the spiritual heart of the country. Not only is it a UNESCO World Heritage site, but it houses thousands of Buddhist monks and countless temples and monasteries, some dating back hundreds of years.

Our first stop was Phu Si: a hill providing beautiful views over the peninsula and the Mekong river.

Phu Si is also home to That Chomsi, a modest yet beautifully located temple.

For the remainder of the day, the four of us visited numerous temples and monasteries; and marveled at the unique architecture and displays of monastic life in the former capital of the first Lao kingdom.

At a certain point, Till and Josh got bored of temples and monks and went off to grab a drink. Matt and I continued to explore the furthest reaches of the peninsula and stumbled upon Wat Xieng Thong.

 

Wat Xieng Thong was built in 1560 by King Setthathirat and represents the template for the classic Luang Prabang temple.

Matt and I continued our tour, stopping to admire several stunning views of the Mekong before heading back to join the others.

That afternoon, Josh and I went to do some last-minute shopping and snacking in the market before saying our final goodbyes to our German travel buddies.

After having spent less than 24 hours in Luang Prabang, it was already time for Josh and I to hop on yet another 10-hour bus ride, this time our destination being Huay Xai on the north-western border with Thailand.

While this is a relatively uninteresting city, it is the base for exploring Laos' most adrenaline fueled adventure: The Gibbon Experience.

Imagine zip-lining over one-hundred feet in the air, above pristine Laotian jungle, inhabited by a unique and rare primate, the black-crested gibbon.

Now imagine no further, I will tell you all about it!

Laos: Like a Drunken Baby

Feb 8th-13th

In Kratie, we had arranged a minivan to bring us to Stung Treng, the last big stop in Cambodia before the border with Laos.

From there, we took another minibus to the border. We waited for over an hour before everyone had their visas and passports processed. Despite having got a visa in advance, we still had to pay a stamping fee (aka bribe) to pass through customs.

We then walked through the no-mans land and onto yet another bus, this one bound for Don Det, our first destination in Laos.

Don Det is part of Si Phan Don, or Four Thousand Islands: a stunning portion of the southern Laotian Mekong river, comprising literally thousands of islets, sandbars and proper inhabited islands.

Once at the pier, we took a small boat to Don Det and were greeted by a group of backpackers swimming and tubing on Don Det's small beach. What was hilarious was that there was also a buffalo bathing along with them and as he was leaving, he took a massive shit just upstream from them. Needless to say, this prompted the swimmers to scream and get out of the water, much to our amusement.

Don Det is the primary backpacker island in Four Thousand Islands and since we were there in the high season, we knew accommodations would be hard to come by.

In fact, we walked around for quite some time before finally securing a basic room on the sunrise side of the island.

For the rest of the day, we just lounged around and enjoyed the river scenery.

That evening, we spent the first of many nights at Pool Bar, the most popular bar on the island. After about 2 or 3 of the tremendously famous Beer Lao, we had to call it a night because we could hardly keep our eyes open.

Since it was such an early night, I woke up and took a walk around the entire island. After only 10-minutes from our room, the accommodations thinned out and you could see the modest homes of local islanders and the gorgeous riverside landscape nestled between Don Det and neighboring Don Khon.

From there I walked another hour to the southern tip of the island and then made my way up the sunset (western) coast.

While this side was more sparsely occupied, it didn't have the same beautiful views as the eastern coast.

Upon my return, I was surprised to see Matt and Till relaxing at a beach-side restaurant. I joined them for a coffee and we discussed our respective plans for Laos.

I also joined them for a swim in the Mekong and luckily the resident bull was downstream from us.

That evening, Pool Bar was having a DJ from Europe spinning at a special event and they went as far as bribing the local police to keep the bar open until 1:30am!

Laos is officially a communist state and because of this, they have certain restrictive rules in place like 11pm curfews in some places, Si Phan Don being one of them.

The Dj was quite good and the four of us enjoyed buckets and danced on the cramped dance floor before it was last call.

After the party, everyone congregated on the small beach and continued the festivities, albeit without music or a dance floor.

At a certain point, Till was quite drunk and said he feels like a drunken baby, and when asked how that feels, he responded "comfortable" with a sleepy smile. It actually became a recurring joke after that night.

To unwind after a solid night of partying, Josh and I took a walk to Don Khon island.

It took around 45 minutes to reach the French-built bridge and we crossed over to Don Khon.

From Don Khon we then found Khone Pa Soi waterfall.

Our longer than expected journey took us through dry rice fields, purposefully burning crops and over a few suspension bridges before finally reaching the falls.

The falls were quite impressive and it was interesting to see how locals set up nets and other contraptions to catch fish in the strong currents.

Once back on Don Det, we met up with Till and Matt and enjoyed a delicious Indian meal.

We had reserved a bus to take us to Tha Khaek, our base for exploring Kong Lo cave. Till and Matt would also be joining us on this journey.

Don Det to Tha Khaek took roughly 11 hours and we arrived at almost 10pm. It then took us almost 2 hours of wandering around before finally finding a place to stay.

Tha Khaek is located just across the Mekong river from Thailand and because of this strategic location, many Thai businessmen come over for trade and cause room rates to be rather inflated and difficult to come by.

The following morning we hired a van to take the 4 of us to the Phu Hin Bun National Protected Area: home to Kong Lo cave.

Kong Lo cave is a 7.5 km cave/subterranean river passing through a huge limestone mountain. You need to hire a long-tail boat to traverse it.

After around halfway, you moor and walk through an impressive array of stalactites, before continuing the rest of the way by boat.

Of course, once back on the boat, the safe meal of chicken and rice I had eaten prior to our boat trip was not agreeing with me and I really wished I had popped an Imodium prior to leaving. At a certain point I broke out in a cold sweat and told our boat driver I needed to get off the boat, and fast! Luckily there was a massive gravel pit in the cave and I sprinted up it, pulling down my shorts just in the nick of time. I had no toilet paper at the time so I had to use my boxers to clean myself off.   

So please, if you ever find yourself in Kong Lo cave and come across a pair of black Calvin Klein's, by all means do not pick them up! I turned one of the Laos' longest caves into the world's longest toilet!  

Anyways, back to the boat trip...

It was extremely impressive to see the grandeur and absolute darkness (thankfully) when traversing the cave.

Once we reached the exit, we took a brief break before going back through to the mouth of the cave.

On our way back, our driver stopped at a viewpoint overlooking the beautiful mountainous countryside before completing the rest of the 2-hour drive back to Tha Khaek.

The next day, it took another 6 hours by luxury coach to reach Vientiane, the capital of Laos.

Matt and Till opted to immediately transfer onto a night bus to Luang Prabang, while Josh and I would spend a night in Vientiane before joining them the next day.

Before our German friends headed out, we briefly stopped in front of the That Dum Stupa (no joke!), and presidential palace.

In the past 3 days, we had driven over 23 hours between Don Det and Vientiane and we had another 10 hours of mountainous roads before reaching Luang Prabang the next day.

For such a small country, it sure takes a bloody long time to get anywhere!