Escape From Poo Poo Island

Jan 2nd-7th

We spent New Years day lounging at the Holiday Inn's pool and by the day's end I thought I may have gotten a mild case of heat stroke. By the time Amina, Josh, Yemina and I finished dinner, I had a mild fever and generally didn't feel very well.

The next day my fever was still there and I thought I could just wait it out. Amina and I were parting ways with Yemina and Josh, who would be staying in Krabi, while we were going to some of the Andaman Sea's idyllic islands.

Our first stop was Koh Phi Phi whose claim to fame stems from its appearance in Leonardo Dicaprio's 1999 film "The Beach".

Although it was badly damaged in 2004's deadly tsunami, it still retains most of its original, unparalleled beauty. This beauty combined with worldwide exposure from the film has led Koh Phi Phi to become one of the Andaman coast's biggest party islands.

Unfortunately, like anyone who parties excessively, eventually it starts to catch up to them. Koh Phi Phi is a small island, but it now houses innumerable guesthouses, hotels, restaurants and bars; along with thousands of people, making it feel rather congested and overrun.

Amina and I managed to find a private room at Harmony House despite accommodations being absolutely impossible to find online.

We dropped off our stuff and checked out the nearest beach, Ao Lo Dalam. While pretty crowded, the beach was still quite nice and not too dirty. The water, however, seemed to have some sort of shit-like sediment in it that made it less than inviting. Wait, this will be a common theme.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

The next day we hung out at the beach during the day and checked out a hilarious bar that gives free buckets to westerners who fight each other in a Muay Thai ring. Most of the participants are drunk Brits or Australians, and it seemed that some guys actually knew what they were doing and ended up injuring their opponents to the delight of those watching in the crowd. Hey, at least the loser still gets a bucket! (Even if they're already 2 for 1!)

The next day I had signed up to go diving with Hippo Divers (http://www.hippodivers-phiphi.com) and would do two dives around Koh Phi Phi Leh, home to the bay that Leo made famous.

In fact, during the day's diving we stopped there for lunch. There were so many tourist boats on the small strip of sand that I struggled to even see it until one of the dive masters pointed it out to me.

Koh Phi Phi Leh is known for its leopard and reef sharks, but of course they didn't show up during my dives! At least I saw three big turtles on my second dive.

The fever that I had when I arrived on Koh Phi Phi had never really subsided. In fact, on my dive trip (luckily not when I was actually diving), my stomach also started acting up. By the next day I was pretty much confined to the room and more specifically the ensuite bathroom.

At a certain point I realized that this wasn't just food poisoning and I went to go see a doctor. He said I either had an intestinal infection or malaria. For once I was hoping for an intestinal infection!

I had to go see him a few days later because it wasn't improving and my fever was still quite high, but fortunately the antibiotics started to kick in after 3 days.

During all this, Amina was being an absolute saint: getting me food, keeping me hydrated and being more attentive than I deserved.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

Despite my explosive bowels, we still managed to meet up with Remi and Elena who were staying on Hat Yao beach and see them off before they headed back to Bangkok for their flight home.

We had only initially intended on staying on Koh Phi Phi for three nights, but ended up staying six because of my incapacitated state.

On our final day, I finally had enough strength and sphincter control to go to Koh Phi Phi's gorgeous viewpoint.

It had been my goal since our arrival on the island and it was well worth it.

Although the climb was rather short, it was still quite strenuous.

Once on top we were treated to a stunning view of Koh Phi Phi Don and its two bays; tree-covered hills and jagged karst peaks.

A nice finale to my shitty week on Koh poo poo, and we couldn't have been happier to get the hell out of there!

A Holiday Season to Remember Part II: Full Moons and Soaking Bottoms

Dec 27th-Jan 1st

We had an AirAsia flight to catch at 6:50 am and had to be at the airport two hours earlier. I took it upon myself to pull an all-nighter and wake everyone up. Despite the fact that Josh overslept his alarm as usual, the four of us still made our flight to Nakhon Si Thammarat. From there we had a shuttle bus which brought us to the Donsak ferry terminal headed for Koh Pha Ngan.

As opposed to our first Full Moon Party, we decided to stay in Thong Sala rather than the cesspool which was Haad Rin.

Thong Sala is the main town on Koh Pha Ngan and ideally located between Haad Rin and the beautiful north-western beaches.

We finally arrived in Thong Sala as the sun was beginning to set. It was just a short walk until we reached our wonderful French-run guesthouse called 4U (www.4uthailand.com).

We decided to take it easy that night considering the calamity which would be unfolding the following night.

Many people came to Haad Rin for a Christmas to New Years binge and this Full Moon Party would mark the halfway point of this annual, weeklong shit-show.

Prior to the party, the four of us headed to Haad Yao beach for some calm before the impending storm.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

Haad Yao was just as relaxing as the time I visited it with Bryan and Rich albeit with more people.

After a day in the sun, we started mentally preparing for that night's bash. Josh and I still had our singlets from the previous Full Moon Party and we advised Amina and Yemina to wear something they wouldn't mind getting dirty.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi) 

We then took a tuk tuk towards Haad Rin and before long it was blatantly apparent how many more people were at this party than the last.

We headed to Om Ganesh hostel to use some of their body paint, but it had already been used up. We bought a consolatory bucket and made our way to sunrise beach.

The constant flow of bros and bimbos was staggering. The four of us stayed close because there were thousands of people even on the streets leading up to the infamous beach.

We had to snake our way through thousands of people gathered around Cactus Bar (the bar we went to during the last Full Moon Party and where the two Thais killed each other), before getting a good view of the actual beach.

If I estimated the last Full Moon Party to host 15 thousand party-goers, this one had triple that number at the very least. Thankfully there were still pockets of less-occupied beach where we could express our joy through the art of dance.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

We spent the rest of the night sharing buckets and dancing the night away.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

The following day, Amina and I went to enjoy a relaxing day at Hat Salad. While this might sound like a bizarre culinary concoction, it is actually one of the nicest beaches on the west coast and is just another 15-minutes north of Haad Yao.

It was fantastic to spend the day together on such a pretty, serene beach.

Pure bliss.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

We now had just a few days before New Years eve and needed to make our way to Krabi, where we would be ringing in the new year.

The four of us took a ferry to Surat Thani and then a bus to Krabi Town. We then got a minibus to Ao Nang, the area of Krabi we would be staying in.

Amina's dad had been so kind as to book her 3 nights at the Holiday Inn as a birthday gift and I got to tag along!

Ao Nang is a reasonably well-established beach-town west of Krabi Town. It comprises mostly mid-range to higher-end hotels and guesthouses and as a consequence lacks the backpacker vibe that we had felt in Koh Pha-Ngan.

Even the beach itself, while nice, was far from anything special and as a consequence, we just hung out by the Holiday Inn's pool.

New Years Eve was now upon us and we wanted to party it up in style. We decided to head to nearby Railey Beach for the evening's festivities.

I donned my best shirt and jeans and Amina wore a lovely dress. When we met up with Josh and Yemina. Josh was wearing shorts and a t-shirt but felt underdressed so he went back to change into jeans.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

Railey is only accessible by boat from Ao Nang. Because of the full moon, the tidal changes were ridiculous and we would have to walk out quite far to reach a waiting boat.

The ground seemed relatively solid, so we started walking out to the boat. A few steps in, my shoe sunk into a soft spot and was now caked in mud. I took off my shoes and rolled up my jeans hoping that the worst was over.

As we neared the boat, the water was deeper and deeper, already above our rolled-up jeans. By the time we were next to the boat, the waves were coming in so high that I had to lift my shirt up so it would avoid being soaked. Good thing Josh changed into jeans!

Amina was struggling to get up the ladder of the boat and I was furious that my jeans and underwear were completely soaked along with my shoes caked in mud, so rather than helping her, I yelled for her to hurry up.

I climbed onto the boat and was absolutely livid that I was beyond soaked even before we started our night!

This would be a long one.

When we arrived at Railey Beach, I had taken off my clothes (except for my underwear) to prevent it from getting any wetter than it already was.

There was a New Years party charging almost 300$ per head going on and I walked right through it wearing nothing but my boxers to the bewilderment of the party's guests and the amusement of Amina and Yemina.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

Josh and I found a shop selling some loose fitting pants and some flip-flops, and we bought pretty much whatever fit.

The nice woman at the front desk let us put our shoes and soaking clothes behind her desk.

Now that I had dry clothes I could finally relax, decrease my fury and start enjoying my night.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

We had a simple dinner and the coffee made by Pinu, a man gifted in the art of barista, but cursed with the laugh of a high-pitched hyena. We then went to Last Bar on Railey's east coast, our venue for the countdown.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

Last Bar had everything we could have asked for for a New Years party: good music, a dance floor, affordable drinks, fire shows, pool tables and shisha.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

Despite the wet beginnings, we all had a fantastic time.

(Photo Credit: Amina Qureshi)

On our boat ride back to Ao Nang, not only did we not get wet but we were all glad that Josh had not opted to go commando like I did because by the end of the night, his brand new pants were crotch-less.

Definitely a New Years the four of us won't soon forget!