Road Rage James, the fall of Aisha and the not so Beautiful Game

June 24-25


Although Italy and the World Cup were the catalyst for us to come to Africa, the Azzurri proved to be the most forgettable part of the trip.

With poor officiating, mediocre performances and draws galore, group F lived up to its letter.


The defending champs could only be commended for their last desperate efforts to avoid being eliminated by Slovakia ( almost scoring 2 goals in a span of a few minutes), and their impeccable acting skills.

I just feel bad for Dan, who had never given up hope for his beloved team, only to be smacked in the face by trivial teams like Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia.


There were several high points: because of the three-quarter capacity crowds, we could sneak down at half-time and sit right next to the pitch. Also, the atmosphere and architecture of the stadiums was second to none. On a side note, the vuvuzelas are only half as annoying as the appear on TV.

What is unbelievably annoying, however, is driving in the host cities. Although the reception and hospitality of the South African people has been tremendous, no one seems to know anything in terms of directions, streets or major landmarks. We have wasted several hours driving around in circles, being mislead and miss-directed time and time again.

On our trip to and from Johannesburg, we had to bribe a traffic cop with food in order to give us a warning after failing to pull-over (they just kind of wave at you) for speeding (which for the record is how everyone drives over here).

This first incident, along with the apparent incompetence of everyone in Joburg, led to the following incident.

Not only do I not like driving in big cities when I don't know where I'm going, but we had been refused entry into several parking lots and I had pulled more U-turns than I think I ever had in my entire life: to put it lightly, I was pissed.

The last straw came when a parking attendant told me to pull another U-turn so he could let us park in his lot, thankfully without a neccessary permit. I pulled the turn too wide and was now blocking 2 lanes of oncoming traffic. Cars started honking and then I lost it.

I screamed FUCK YOU at the top of my lungs and proceeded to back up into the side of a honking bus, completely obliterating Aisha's right tail-light. Thankfully; no one was injured: just a tarnish to my driving confidence and Aisha's appearance.

The final nails in the coffin soon followed. Dan took over the driving and almost immediately got us into a secnd accident; looking the wrong way while making a wide right turn. Later that same day, Chris M. drifted too far left on the road and blew up our front left tire, requiring us to change our tire in pitch darkness on a hill in Swaziland.

So as you can see, driving on the left-hand-side really sucks!